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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25601377">As The Smoke Filled My Lungs, You Were There</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/myheroesrbands/pseuds/myheroesrbands'>myheroesrbands</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>BakodaFleetWeek 2020 [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Avatar: The Last Airbender</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>BakodaFleetWeek, Bakodafleetweek 2020, M/M, Nightmares, Slight Angst?, and hakoda is there for him, bato hasn't fully recovered, smoke</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 06:28:08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,239</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25601377</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/myheroesrbands/pseuds/myheroesrbands</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The smoke was consuming his every thought. His mind and body were corrupted. And when he closed his eyes, Hakoda's expressionless face stared back at him.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bato/Hakoda (Avatar)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>BakodaFleetWeek 2020 [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1852546</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>63</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Bakoda Fleet Week 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>As The Smoke Filled My Lungs, You Were There</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I almost cried writing this. Nightmare fics make me really sad so :' !</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bato’s dreams were having a recurring theme at the moment: him and Hakoda in the Earth Kingdom celebrating victory. Right now, he was standing in front of Hakoda and smiling as the other warriors came to surround them and engulf them in hugs and laughter. </p><p>Except, and he doesn't know how he actually <em>felt</em> it, but there was a burning sensation starting at his feet. He registered his eyes looking down at his feet only for the flame to engulf half of his body. Suddenly all of the warriors were gone, the sun in the sky disappeared, and Hakoda was standing in front of him, unmoving. Bato felt himself calling out to the other man. “Hakoda. Hakoda help!” He kept screaming but Hakoda was still standing in the same spot, never wavering in his hold on Bato’s eyes. </p><p>He watched the smoke surround him. Bato felt the smoke in his throat and dropped to his knees to cough in an attempt to rid his throat of the burning sensation and the ever-present smoke. </p><p>It didn’t help, and he was still coughing on the ground. He pulled a hand away from his mouth to find blood on his hand and then, it became smoke — filling the air and blocking his vision. He closed his eyes and began to recognize the shaking feeling of his body. He’d grown to associate that feeling with a muscle spasm when his joints would freeze up. A cry of pain escaped him, but he wouldn’t wake up. </p><p>He could still feel the smoke filling his nose, and he could still feel the smoke filling his lungs. He was gasping and trying to fill his lungs with fresh air but there was nothing. </p><p>And there was Hakoda, simply watching. The blank stare on Hakoda’s face had been haunting him for months. Bato had absolutely no idea where it came from, but he couldn’t get it out of his head. Before everything went black, Hakoda’s blank stare flashed behind his eyes one more time. </p><p>“Bato!” Hakoda yelled when Bato gasped awake and sat forward. The taller man was inhaling air like a thirsty man needing water and Hakoda’s eyebrows furrowed with concern as he rubbed a hand in circles on Bato’s back. </p><p>Bato had been clenching the pillow and grunting as if he were in pain for fifteen minutes and Hakoda had been trying to wake him for ten. “Hey. Hey honey I’m right here,” Hakoda whispered. He knew from experience that Bato could not handle loud noises after a nightmare and given that this was one of his worst since he’d been burned, Hakoda really didn’t want to overstep any boundaries that Bato might have set up. </p><p>“Bato, honey?” his voice, soft, was the only sound, besides Bato’s heavy breathing, that filled the room. “I’m right here,” he repeated both his words and the movement of his hand on Bato’s back. “You’re in our home, our bed. It’s the middle of the night. The kids are downstairs,” he recounted, going through the routine they had established for nights when they had nightmares. </p><p>It took a moment but eventually, Bato’s breathing slowed and the sweat sticking to his forehead began to disappear. His head was still hanging downward with his chin pressed to his chest as he slowly breathed, in tune with Hakoda. Hakoda, sitting on his knees at the end of the bed where they had moved to, used his hands to pull Bato’s hair into a quick ponytail with the tie on his wrist. </p><p>Bato was still breathing, now looking as though he no longer was mentally in the room, ten minutes later when Hakoda asked quietly from beside him, “Do you want to talk about it?” </p><p>Because he seemed to not realize he was in the room, Bato’s response, a nonchalant and barely there shrug, came a minute later. Hakoda sighed and resigned himself to sitting cross-legged next to Bato. Reaching for one of Bato’s hands sitting in his lap, Hakoda laid his head on the taller man’s shoulder and let his eyes flutter closed. </p><p>The two of them sat in that position for a long while; Hakoda almost thought Bato would have fallen asleep (and was genuinely surprised that he himself hadn’t fallen asleep given the quiet) but a sniffle from Bato broke the silence. </p><p><em>Just how bad was this one</em> Hakoda thought to himself and lifted his head from Bato’s shoulder to place his arms around his waist. </p><p>“Hey,” he whispered and watched as his breath moved a strand of hair he missed when he pulled Bato’s hair up. </p><p>A tear was falling down Bato’s face and Hakoda reached to wipe it away and startled when Bato’s right hand came to grab his wrist. Bato pulled Hakoda’s hand down to his lap and let his hand rest right above Hakoda’s. </p><p>“I’ve never seen you do it,” Bato’s scratchy voice started. His face looked pained as he spoke and Hakoda wanted nothing more than to stop his love from feeling any pain at all. “But there’s this,” he cleared his throat and paused. </p><p>“There’s this face you make.” He was now making eye contact with Hakoda who was furrowing his eyebrows in confusion. “I’ve only <em>heard</em> it in your voice but it’s complete blankness. No expression. You just watch and wait,” Bato’s voice shook as he spoke and Hakoda feared he’d burst into even more tears. </p><p>He sat and waited though. He didn’t want to rush Bato into talking about this. </p><p>“It haunts me Hakoda,” he whispered. “Every time I close my eyes, I’m being burned alive. But you’re just <em>watching</em> it happen.” Hakoda opened his mouth to immediately shut down the notion that he would do such a thing before Bato’s index finger rested on his lips. “I know you’d never do it.” His hand dropped back to his lap to take Hakoda’s hand into his own. </p><p>“I know that,” he spoke, voice determined as his eyebrows furrowed in concentration while he focused his vision on his and Hakoda’s hands. “But it’s the smoke from the flames. The smoke is filling my body but you’re just standing there. It’s my worst nightmare come to life from that day,” his voice fell in volume again and Hakoda’s heart broke. </p><p>He doesn’t know how he manages but Hakoda gets the both of them back up to where they can rest their heads on the pillows. “I love you. So much. And I get that that is not going to make all of this go away but I need you to know that I would never ever let you burn like that. Never,” he almost growled out and Bato, from where he was positioned with his head in Hakoda’s chest and his arms wrapped around Hakoda’s waist, exhaled softly, the breath tickling Hakoda’s chest.</p><p>“Thank you,” he responded thickly. Hakoda couldn’t stand it when Bato cried, but he knew that some things were too much for him. He understood that Bato carried too much on his shoulders. He knew that Bato was just one man, so he held him as the tears began to flow freely. </p><p>It would take a lot of time, and truly they’d never fully rid themselves of the nightmares, but they’d dull in impact. For right now, Hakoda was right where he needed to be, holding Bato in his arms and shielding him as much as possible from his own mind.</p>
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